I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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