Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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