Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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