I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
