I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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