Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
