How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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