R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize