I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
