I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
