He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
