were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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