WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
