im six kinds of drunk right now
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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