we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
