One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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