it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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