Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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