he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
should my penis look like a turkey
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
