i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
