I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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