somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
