Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
