The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
