We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
