i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my being single is dangerous.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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