i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
