But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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