I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
