I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
