My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
