You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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