Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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