is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
