rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
