Christians are straight up FREAKS
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
