I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
