so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
