We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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