I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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