the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
