so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
