But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
