The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
