How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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