party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
