So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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