This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
