And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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