Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
