Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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