good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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